Here's a stranger with the weather.

Hello.  Thank you for tuning in.

The weather is partly cloudy with a chance of ground,
with winds coming from the north non-directional.
Humidity tops the Scholastic Sarcastic Chart,
and Punxsutawney Phil has no eyes.

Here's a stranger with the sports.
Hi.  I don't like to sweat.
Let's talk about balls.

meh.